Latest Licks
3.04.2012
The Lick! Round 1
Finally, some regular season footy to rabbit on about in the Footy Licks podcast!
This week, the video review system is in the gun, as are coaches’ tactics with ruckmen. (Tim comes out with a truly revelatory theory about where to play them…)
Plus, Ballantyne vs Scarlett – which bad boy copped a licking?
Don’t hold your breath like we know you must be – listen in! Read More…
29.03.2012
Who the hell was at that Giants match?!
Don’t know about you, but we here at Footy Licks were taken aback by the amount of seats filled at ANZ Stadium for last Saturday’s night season opener between the Swans and Demetriou’s Pets. Many of us would’ve found ourselves asking who could really be bothered, particularly when the Bristleman was making his commentary debut on free-to-air.
Well, as always, we’re here to answer your questions. Footy Licks has somehow gotten its grubby hands on the crowd breakdown figures… And they are rather revelatory! Read More…
24.03.2012
Our 2012 ladder predictions… with a twist
For those poor souls who have been reading Footy Licks since the start of last season, you may recall we each formulated what we thought the end-of-season ladder would look like and proceeded to rip each others’ predictions apart. And in hindsight, we deserved it. We were awful.
Here are some clangers from last season’s version of our ladder predictions: We both had the Bulldogs in the Four. Ben had Adelaide fifth and Port ninth. Tim had West Coast 15th and the Gold Coast above them!
Stopped reading in disgust yet? Well, don’t. Comedic relief is here… We’ve had another go! Read More…
19.03.2012
The Lick! Pre-season 2
May we introduce you to a podcast in which Tim wants to deny players their right to be interchanged, Ben wants more naked shenanigans in Adelaide, and we give a licking to the golden tonsils of Dennis Cometti.
Footy’s just around the corner folks, and Footy Licks is gearing up the only way it knows how… By spouting absolute drivel! Read More…
1.03.2012
Coach-speak: A memo from the AFL
Ever thought AFL coaches are all reading from the same cringe-worthy vocabulary book? You may very well be right.
Footy Licks suspects interference from higher up… Read More…
16.02.2012
The AFL summer in a nutshell
Oh baby! Footy’s back and so is Footy Licks’ desire to take the piss out of it!
In our first post for 2012 we wrap up what happened over the pre-season for you… because there’s only so much clichéd drivel one fan can take.
We really had to put in 110 per cent to keep on top of it all. Read More…
22.09.2011
Footy Licks’ Forty Licks Countdown, 1-20
There’s one thing we enjoy doing more than anything else here at Footy Licks… and that’s licking people. If you commit an act of poor form in the world of the AFL, you’re gonna cop it – nice and sloppy.
Having unveiled 21-40 of Footy Licks’ Forty Licks Countdown last week, we now put our tongues to work on the biggest lickees of 2011: Read More…
19.09.2011
The Lick! Podcast, Finals 1
Oh baby, Tim’s got himself a theory… This edition of The Lick! wonders what the best time of year is for footy players to have sex. Don’t scoff – for once, we engage in some serious theoretical thinking.
And of course, after a momentous few weeks in the AFL, there are plenty of worthy contenders to cop a solid licking!
Read More…
16.09.2011
Footy Licks’ Forty Licks Countdown, 21-40
There’s one thing we enjoy doing more than anything else here at Footy Licks… and that’s licking people. If you commit an act of poor form in the world of the AFL, you’re gonna cop it – nice and sloppy.
We’ve put together a list of those who deserve the biggest lickings of 2011. It’s a countdown to make Mike Sheahan run and cry – even with 10 less items…
Yep, it’s that potent. Read More…
1.09.2011
Round 24 SuperCoach Preview
Here it is. The final week of SuperCoach… the Grand Final. All those gruelling hours spent sifting through stats and pondering trade options in front of a computer screen while the wife happily enjoys all the household chores are going to pay off this week. Whether you’re aiming for the $50,000 or you just want to demolish your best mate in your private league, you’d best be on your game. A simple poor trade or delusional captain choice could ruin it all. Read More…
1.09.2011
Ja’maican me bored!
THIS WEEK IN FOOTY – ROUND 24: If you needed any more evidence that a 24-week home-and-away season is interminably long, just look at the ladder.
After 23 rounds, everything is more-or-less wrapped up. We know our finalists, we just about know where they’re going to play and we know that Jarrad Waite isn’t going to play again this season. Read More…
